11.  He was just trying to fit in with the "cool kids."

     10.  You can't find quality bud in Russia.

       9.  Hillary Rodham had bogarted the joint.

       8.  The kid at the drive-through mixed up his order and gave him a real "herb salad."

       7.  The Arkansas State Troopers really did "lose the evidence."

       6.  It was skunkweed.

       5.  He didn't inhale marijana.  It was hash.

       4.  Al Gore bogarted the joint.

       3.  Wasted his last quarter trying to get the "cigar trick" to work.

       2.  He was already too smoked up to breathe.

       1.  It would have been a buzzkill for the LSD.

     11.  He couldn't get the G-note tight enough.

     10.  It was too hard to cut the line with an electric razor.

       9.  He was having sinus problems from the last line that he did.

       8.  The carbonation in the Coke hurt his nose too much.

       7.  He blew the Texas education budget on guns and booze, and didn't have enough left for an 8-ball.

       6.  It was more fun to shoot it up while signing the execution order.

       5.  Had to flush the 8-ball to show his part in the "War on Drugs."

       4.  He got distracted making funny faces in the mirror.

       3.  He found out the speed gave a better rush.

       2.  His nieces wouldn't share.

       1.  He was too busy bogarting the joint.